Navigating Your Career Through Grief and Loss
Grief and loss can impact your career. Your reflection on your grief experience can lead to a renewed sense of self, purpose, and direction in life. Or you may now have new immediate needs or wants. Additionally, returning to work after a loss might signal whether you want to stay in a job, role, and/or industry or pursue other goals. In this post, we outline a few of the career challenges after a loss, how to work toward small steps and goals for career fulfillment, and strategies that may support you as your loss informs your career goals.
Challenges
There are various challenges that may arise after a loss, including impacts on finances, values and sense of self. Some of these challenges are identified below.
Changes in income and/or additional expenses. With a loss, you may have experienced a significant change in your finances, whether it’s the loss of your partner’s income, additional expenses to now provide childcare for your children, or the cost of medical bills or funeral expenses, for example.
Shifting of your values or priorities, including motivation regarding your work. Grief and loss may create a shifting of priorities and values. It can feel unsettling to notice these changes, but they provide an opportunity to identify what is now important to you. At the same time, you may feel foggy and more confused than ever before and not feel motivated about your work.
New perceptions of yourself, your identities, and your roles. You may experience a significant shift in your perception of yourself. Some of your identities have now likely changed. You may view yourself as moving through your grief too quickly or too slowly. Your vision of what your life would look like has now changed and that impacts how you perceive yourself individually. Roles in your life have likely morphed into something new.
Lack of societal support and resources both in your personal life and in the workplace. It can be challenging navigating workplace policies when it comes to grief and loss. Often, workplaces do not have policies in place that support bereavement needs, and when they do, they may be difficult to navigate, or they may be supportive in the short term without sustaining support for longer needs. More generally, others may not know how to best support you as you navigate a new stage of life.
Your career just doesn't work for you anymore. Sometimes when you take a step back in the grand scheme of life you recognize that you need some space. You need a period of slowing down that does not align with your career. You may simply find that you cannot perform the work anymore.
Change in perceptions about the workplace and the work itself. As your grief experience continues to shape you, your perception of your work and/or workplace may shift as well. You may find yourself in a position of multiple contradictions, such as:
You need to meet immediate needs regarding income and responsibilities while the work no longer holds meaning for you and doesn’t match your shift in values.
You realize a further commitment to your work and may want to take on new projects, roles, and responsibilities and yet your energy level does not match your wants.
You may find yourself going into autopilot at work while making compromised choices in your personal life.
Apart from these examples of contradictions, you may be content with your work and find it gives you meaning and purpose through a difficult period. These shifts and relationships to your work may be incredibly difficult to manage, especially when you may not have the energy, time, and/or resources to evaluate your current work situation. What a challenging place to be! And that’s where help and support are key to make meaning and clarity amidst difficult circumstances.
Small Action Steps
Despite the challenges of grieving a loss while managing a career, try taking some action steps using some of the strategies outlined below to meet both your needs and wants as you navigate a new chapter.
Identify your immediate needs. What are your career and income needs six months to a year from now? Use the following tools below to help you identify these.
Define your current life roles. Evaluate your life roles and the proportion of time they are currently taking in your life. Life roles may include the following (or others): Child, Student, Leisure Roles (Artist, Reader, Athlete, etc.), Citizen, Worker, Parent, Spouse/Partner, Homemaking Roles (Home maintenance, meal prep, laundry, etc.). It can be helpful to reflect on the changes you may want to make to their current proportion in your life. Use this guided activity to draw a pie chart of how your life roles are showing up in your current life and how you’d like to shift those in the future.
Identify your new financial needs. Update your budget so that it reflects the changes that have occurred in your life. Has your income changed? Do you have additional expenses? Is there a gap between your current income and new expenses? Do you have a list of the expenses that you can expect that don’t occur monthly? Whether you use a spreadsheet or budgeting software, track your spending to better understand your financial situation.
Avoid rushing into big changes. Start with small changes that will move you toward your new priorities, needs, and values. While some changes may need to happen more immediately, still try to utilize the strategies provided to help inform these changes. it may not feel like it in the moment, but there may be a bit more time for you to consider options and next steps.
For example, if you identified that you need more flexibility in your work schedule, see if that can first be found at your current job before starting the search for a new one. Can you create an arrangement that allows you to complete your work with the flexibility you need and has the approval of your supervisor? Or are there other positions within the organization that would provide the flexibility that you’re looking for? While you may be informed of your workplace bereavement policies, also ask about your workplace leave of absence policies. You’ll want to get clear on whether you need to make changes in your career field, the specific job you’re doing, and/or the organization where you work.
Allow time for career exploration, and start with the internal work. Provide the space for career exploration if you are considering that you’d like to make a career change. Start with internal work first so you can be clear on what matters most to you, and then see how that aligns with the world of work. Carve out time and utilize reflection activities.
Utilize values exercises and assessments. As mentioned, your values may have shifted through your grief and loss experience. Consider re-evaluating those values through either an exercise or assessment. A digital Work-Life Balance assessment allows you to clarify your top 3 personal priorities and your top 3 career priorities. You can then use this information to reflect on your own or bring to a session with a career counselor or grief and loss coach. There are also a variety of free values assessments online or lists of values that you could utilize to select what is most important to you right now.
Consider career assessments. Completing a career assessment may help identify and clarify your personality, interests, and skills to align with potential career paths. Some helpful assessments to consider include the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), the Strong Interest Inventory, Clifton Strengths, or the Enneagram. You can find some versions of these for free online, but generally you’ll get the most out of completing the official assessment with someone who is trained to interpret it with you. Career assessments won’t always fit your identities and needs but can be a great starting point for career exploration.
Create a mind map as a visual representation of your career exploration. You can use one whether you’re considering changing careers completely, making adjustments in your current job, or helping you identify where you’re feeling the most stuck. A key is to approach your mind map without judgment and to allow your mind to explore all possibilities. If you’re not sure how to get started with a mind map, or other visual career exploration tools, consider attending a free Creative Career Exploration workshop where you’ll be guided through the process.
Take inventory of the skills you have. Start by listing all of the skills you perform at your current role, including non-paid roles outside of the workplace. Cross out the skills you do not enjoy and do not fit your current self. Then, list your skills from those you most enjoy to least enjoy in order. In a separate column, list your skills that you are best at to least skilled. See what commonalities you find and use this information to inform your next steps.
Get career support through resources. There are many ways to find help and support as you re-evaluate your career during this time. Online career websites can provide relevant information that will help you both as you explore your career options and as you conduct a job search. Some examples include The Muse, Career Contessa, or Indeed. A career counselor or coach can help guide you through your career exploration and provide you with the individualized support that you need. Some universities provide career services to their alumni for free or for a small fee. You can also look for free or low cost workshops through your local workforce center.
Utilize and build your team of support.
It can be hard to recognize your interdependence when going through a tough time. It can feel like no one understands your loss and career, and that can feel isolating and as if you have no one on your team to help you. Before the loss, you may have known yourself and knew what support was helpful and welcome from friends, family, and professionals. Now you may feel like a different person and unsure of who can best support you. That is okay. Take the time to reflect on a few questions:
Who in your network understands your career?
What professional help may you need specific to your career needs?
Who do you know that is a good listener?
Who can help you get connected to the resources you need?
What free options exist in your community and online for career support and exploration?
Connect with others. Meet with people, take good notes (grief brain is real!), and utilize your network. Informational interviews can be helpful for better understanding options, work culture, and company values. Rely on your established network by reaching out to people you know with thoughtful questions and meeting with them to learn more about their work and any additional opportunities.
Build relationships with those in the field(s) you are interested in pursuing - attend networking events, contact your local Chamber of Commerce to learn more about what is going on in the community and any possible networking opportunities nearby while connecting on social media for contacts outside of the community.
Access support. Navigating choices about career and even just getting through day to day, can be hard. Use resources such as mental health counseling, grief and loss coaching, career coaching, and/or support groups to help you gain clarity and to reduce ambivalence.
Conclusion
Work and career coupled with grief and loss is complex, so take your time, use your resources, and build a team of support that believes in you and helps you. As you continue to navigate each day, recognize that mistakes and missteps are all part of the process. Be gentle on yourself by showing self-compassion.You can do this in a variety of ways, such as processing your concerns and challenges with others, journaling, moving your body, making small shifts and changes that help you get to where you want to be, and being gentle with yourself.
If you approach your career with openness, you may encounter opportunities or experiences that you wouldn’t have sought out otherwise. Allowing yourself to be open-hearted to happenstance can lead you to an unexpected, yet fulfilling and rewarding, next step in your career. You are creating a new world for yourself after your loss, so keep trying and give yourself time to grow. Grief is your teacher, and when you equip that grief with patience, strategies, support from others, and hope, you’ll find meaningful next steps that work for you.
Additional Resources
Also posted on rootsandwingsgriefcoaching.com
Authored by: Eryn Elder and Mindy Hurd
Eryn Elder, Grief and Loss Coach, Roots and Wings Grief and Loss Coaching.
Grief and loss changes you. After the unexpected death of my first-born daughter, I was thrown into the abyss of grief. I have been there, and I have been through the ups and downs of navigating a career through grief and loss. Additionally, I have coached hundreds of individuals using a life coaching approach that is personalized, collaborative, and compassionate and have served as an administrator of a coaching program at a tier 1 research university. I also hold a grief and loss support specialist certificate and a master’s degree in education.
“We don’t know how we will grieve until we grieve” - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Mindy Hurd, Career Counselor and Coach
I help motivated individuals who feel stuck in their job figure out their unique skills and strengths, so they can find a fulfilling career and create a life they love. I’ve been there, too. Dreading going into work yet having no idea what to do instead. Changing jobs only to feel like the next one still isn’t the right fit!
I use my empathy, intuition, creativity, and strategic thinking to help my clients find a career they love. I approach my work with each client individually, focusing on your strengths, interests, values, and skills. I’m located in Lafayette, Colorado, but work with clients across the U.S.
